Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Seriously, Wendy's Isn't Even That Good

The title is tantamount to a declaration of war in our household, so I must clarify that this is Justin's opinion only. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Leiby Household, Jenny, The President, Liza, or Condi.

Jenny called me and told me on her commute home, in the blissful tone of an addict after a heroine fix, that Wendy's re-opened in Champaign. After we arrived at Wendy's, we got in line behind 41 people and commenced our 25 minute wait in line. Christ almighty.

Demand for square hamburgers is strong. Wendy's has been closed in the Champaign Urbana area for a long time, due to mismanagement by the local franchisee. The prices are noticeably higher, perhaps only for a little while to attract only those fast food lovers who are willing to pay a little bit more when they forget what Wendy's actually tastes like.

The price discrimination is delicious, unlike the fries. Wendy's fries typically suck in comparison to McDonald's. This evening they were on par with oven-baked Ore-Ida. I ordered the Baconator (a double cheeseburger with 6 bacon strips), which was a tasty burger. Remember to order it without mayo, though, because Wendy's insists on slathering its burgers in that stuff. I once had a Wendy's burger that came with mayo and mustard, and no ketchup. I do not know what demographic this combination serves, but any savage who likes mayo and mustard on a burger should go straight to hell.

Wendy's is 4th best among fast food restaurants (if Steak and Shake does not count as fast food). As I type this diatribe, my clothes and hair emit the stench of grease and cheap paint and carpet glue.

However, as I type this I see that my wife is smiling and satisfied. Anything that makes Jenny exclaim, "I have great news!" is worth undercooked fries, 25 minute waits in line, and stinky clothes. Jenny is happy, and so am I. Wendy's is not so bad. Stop whining, Justin.

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