Monday, June 16, 2008

16 Bags of Pretzels

Yesterday was my 26th birthday, which started with fried "dippy" eggs made by my loving and beautiful wife. We then celebrated with a visit to Seven Saints and some minature golf. Jenny handily won the mini golf match.

It's a sad state of affairs when the two best restaurants in town have both both been burger joints, but Seven Saints is possibly our favorite restaurant in Champaign now, and specializes in small hamburgers called "sliders."

These little burgers (possibly made famous by the White Castle chain) each are a little system of flavors (including a "tropical" with grilled pineapple and thai peanut sauce; and a "blackjack" with pepperjack cheese, spicy aoli, an onion ring and fried jalapenos).

I believe that my favorite is the smokey BBQ slider, with smoked cheddar, BBQ sauce, and smokey bacon, that is kind of like getting slapped in the face with a 4 oz. beef patty and a tube of liquid smoke. Washed down with a Rogue Dead Guy for me and a Blue Moon for Jenny, and it was a delicious lunch.

I also sampled from my birthday present: 16 bags of Tom Sturgis Pretzels. Jenny was nice enough to order 12 bags of these pretzels specially, because one can't find anything beyond Rold Golds in this midwestern shit hole. I suppose that the savages out here are content with their deep dish pizza and hot dogs with tomato and pickles. Nasty stuff.

In addition to Jenny's present, my mom also sent 4 bags of Tom Sturgis pretzels, so I will be sitting pretty for quite some time. Unfortunately, there is no Yuengling to wash them down. C'est la vie.

To end the day, Jenny made her delicious chili. Eggs + Sliders and Beer + Milkshakes + Pretzels + Chili and Beer = one gluttonous B-day that would make Bacchus proud.

1 comment:

dynamite said...

A few salient points:

-Loosing a giddy shriek of godly exclamation, Bacchus upturned a clay jug of wine, spilling its contents into his mouth and onto his golden chaise. Before he was done watching your birthday unfold, his doting pages and slaves were sopping and purple as they attempted to tidy up the contents from the Olympian floor. No doubt that Bacchus is still sleeping that one off.

-Victor Davis Hanson forwarded a manuscript entitled "Sliders and Civilization" where he will argue the decline in America's traditional modes of national power leaves in its wake the iconic cheeseburger (the contemporary version of the Hellenic "γύρος," the former portable meat, grain and dairy sammitch eaten by those who defended all that is good in the world), whose enduring presence is virtually impossible to purge. That "slider" originated as American Naval slang suggests that the cheeseburger's origins and subsequent import have less to do with a kitchen and more to do with a smoke-filled back room in a far-flung vista of the military-industrial complex.

-Furthermore, a recent bombshell revelation from Al-Jazeera confirmed that the modern export model of cheeseburger is wired with NSA cameras, HIV and GPS, all of which interface w/ nearby American aircraft carriers to track developing world consumers 100% of the time, while slowly destroying their culture.

-There remain two Rogue Dead Guy Ales in my fridge. A fine beer, especially when on sale.

-Pizza would be in a sad state of affairs if not nurtured and re-invented in Chicago after the devastation of Italy during WW2. The requirements for making the pan itself would have bankrupted any town that attempted manufacture.

-I consider your criticism of the Chicago hotdog politically-motivated and disingenuous.